Why Ritsuka Doesn't Drink
by 0928soubi at docomo.ne.jp
Summary: CHAPTER SEVEN IS FINALLY UP! My first story. Loveless, so there is a hint of shonen-ai. One night, Ritsuka comes home drunk, and puts Soubi in a...compromising situation. SoubixRitsuka YoujixNatsou one-sided for now YouxRit and one-sided for now KioxSoubi
1. Chapter 1

Why Ritsuka Doesn't Drink

Warning: This _**IS**_ Loveless, so there is gonna be_some_ hints of shonen-ai.

Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless, or I would keep Sou-chan all for myself. And as he's with Rit-chan, I obviously don't...T.T

[a/n This came to me in a dream, so please don't kill me. I can't be blamed for my own idiocy. Blame my ADHD. BTW, this is my first fanfic, and it IS unbetaed, so don't hate me. Please. You don't want to kill my creativity with flamers, now do you? Now go. Read the ficcy. You know you want tooo...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1

Kio stared at the beautiful blonde man washing the dishes. Whenever Soubi's child lover went out with some friends _his_age, Soubi remained, sulking at home.

"So...Are you_ever_ gonna take Rit-chan's ears?" Kio asked, bored out of his mind, trying to break the silence.

"Not yet." Soubi said after a while, not even turning from the dishes.

"Well if not now, when?" Kio said, sucking on his usual pudding-flavored lollipop.

"Not until he's 17--" Soubi was cutoff, as the front door was opened and slammed shut."Natsuo! Youji! What have I told you about slamming the door?!"

"I'm not Nashuuuooooo...!" A voice said, giggling. Soubi turned and walked into the room. There, standing in a pose, knees spread apart, feet pointed in, giggling and holding a bottle of beer, was the 16-year old Aoyagi Ritsuka.

"Ritsuka! What are you doing?!" Soubi yelled, running to the boy. "Are you drunk?"

"Noooo..." came the chuckled reply.

"Give me the beer, Ritsuka." Soubi said calmly to his master.

"No!" Ritsuka said as he drew the beer to his chest, using his arms to cover it protectively. Just then, their stare-down was interrupted by a voice yelling in the kitchen.

"Ritsuka!!" The two turned to see Kio run into meet them. "Do you have**_any_** idea what time it is?! You're late!! You had us so worried!!" Kio cried, melodramatic tears washing over his pale skin.

"I'm...Late?"

"Yes!!" Kio yelled, some of his green hair falling over his tear-soaked face.

"Shorry, Kio-chan, but ahm not pregnant!" Ritsuka giggled. Kio's face turned the most amazing shades of reds, anger rising in him, but refrained from hitting him, as Soubi would've kicked his ass. He turned to see what Soubi was doing to help the situation, and was horrified by what he saw. Soubi was doing everything in his power to stifle his laughter.

"Ritsuka...give me the beer. **_Now_**." Soubi commanded, sticking his hand out.

"Nuh-uh. Don' wanna." Ritsuka said, still clutching the beer to his chest. Suddenly, a hand reached out from behind, and grabbed Ritsuka's arms as he fought back. He turned to see Kio holding him. Soubi took the distraction, and used it to grab Ritsuka's right arm, pulling him close. A pissed-off Ritsuka used their closeness to catch the blonde man off-guard, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, making the blonde lightly blush.

"Soubi...Take my ears."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: What?!

Will Sou-chan TAKE the offer?!

How will Kio react to the question?!

Will I continue this series?!

All great questions my good people...nod nod

The more reviews, the quicker you'll get the answers... (Maybe.)

I feel bad for having to ask this, but does anyone know Ritsuka's birthday? I don't feel like looking it up...

Please R&R!!


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: It's midnight here, and I don't have caffiene. That chould be enough to alert you of my current writing ability. -looks back- My lack of ability to sspell should be evidence of thatt tooo.

Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless, blah blah blah, LET'S PARTY!!

a/n HELLO, Special Friends!! I wasn't planning on continuing much...(writers block) but thanks to your reviews, I somehow found the energy to continue on! I've gotten into a rut of Bleach fanfics (most of which I have yet to post) So I decided to return to good ol' Loveless! (Also, I was feeling guilty for neglecting my dear Sou-chan!!) Plus, I plan on updating the previous chapter to be longer...(Can I do that?) This will undoubtedly be incredibly short, -if I manage to finish it, anyways- This'll probably be the one fanfic I won't go back and add on to when I edit it...Unless I am able to fall asleep, and dream up another chapter... -sweat-

Lots of Thanks to:

bledding black rose,

Sir Real,

Waiting To Be Inspired, (Did I Inspire You? Bwahaha!)

StoryofGreen,

fallendemise21,

Tokio Hotel Cutie,

and

DreamHolder!

--

"R-Ritsuka? Are you...Serious!?" Soubi stared at the 'child' in disbelief, blushing as he had always made Ritsuka do.

"Of coursh! Why WOULDN'T I be?" Ritsuka started dancing around the room, shaking his hips in time with non-existent music.

"Hm..."

"What?! You aren't really thinking about doing it, are you Sou-chan!?" Kio looked at his friend, the answer somewhat apparent on his bright-red face. 'Lobster...?'

"Come on Sho-u-bi! Whaddya shay?" Ritsuka returned to his blushing companion.

'He said he'd wait, but...knowing him, and his inability to say 'No' to Ritsuka...this could get pretty ugly...' Kio thought, edging towards the closed door and his freedom. As he made his way to the door, he said "Sorry Sou-chan. You're on your own with this one..."

Turning to glare at the escaping Kio, he grumbled "Yeah...Some friend YOU are...Bastard."

"Aw...Come on Kio-shan! Don't be ah partay poopurh!" Ritsuka staggered over to where a dumbfounded Kio stood.

"Uh...Hey look! Sou-chan's dancing!" Kio pointed to where the blond man stood, and dashed out the door.

"Really?!" Ritsuka whipped around, to see the man completely idle and stationary. "Hey! Wait ah shecond! Kio! He's not danshing!"

As the door slammed shut, he lost all interest in the green-haired man. Instead, he slunk over to where Soubi was.

"So? What is your answer?" Ritsuka asked, all traces of drunkenness gone from his voice. Soubi arched an eyebrow in response.

"No." The platinum blonde said blatantly.

"Wh-WHY NOT?!" Ritsuka whined, throwing a fit on the floor.

"Because. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it." Stepping over to kneel beside the teary blob that was his 'master,' he couldn't help but think to himself 'No matter how much I would like to break that vow...'

"B-B-But don'chu like me?!" Ritsuka stammered, with a sudden flow of alcoholic influence. He grabbed Soubi's T-shirt, stood on his toes, and stretched to kiss him, but stopped. "Ah! I know...you're in love wif someone elsh, aren't you? Ah, bet THAT'S it! Wah! Soubi doesn't love me!!" Ritsuka cried into his shoulder. As he stepped away, he wiped his snot on his long black sleeve, and then again threw himself at Soubi.

"Wait! Ritsuka! That's not it--I just--um..." A flustered Soubi stammered.

"Well then, KISS ME!!" Ritsuka demanded, regaining his hold on the taller man's shirt.

"What?" Soubi asked, staring at him with disbelief. 'Did he just ask me to--'

"I said 'kish me.' Unless...you're too shy?" Ritsuka teased him, and an evil smirk played across his face.

"Fine. But I won't take your ears. That's final." Soubi said, doing as he was told. Reaching out to Ritsuka, he pressed his lips softly up against the teenage boy's.

"When, then? Hee! I rhymed." Ritsuka giggled, pulling away from Soubi.

'I can taste the beer...Well, at least he has good taste. Can't help but wonder where he got it though...'

"Helloooo! Earth to Shoubi!! Anybody hooome?!" Ritsuka waved his hands in the taller, slender man's face.

"Huh? Oh. Not until you're seventeen, like I promised." He said, meanwhile thinking things like 'Because I'm an idiot,'

and 'Anybody have a spare brain? Mine seems to be in the shop..'

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You aren't allowed to take mah ears 'til ahm sheventeen. I gots it." Ritsuka said, fiddling with the pull-tab on the beer can.

"Well. I'm glad you see it my way." Soubi said, content with snuggling Ritsuka on the couch. "Now give me the beer."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Ritsukaaa!" Soubi whined, chasing the giggling teenager around his house.

"Cash me if you caaaaan!!" Ritsuka yelled over his shoulder, running fast enough where he was just out of Soubi's reach.

"Come on! I'm too old for this kind of thing, Ritsuka!" Soubi lunged for the boy, and missed by only a few inches.

"Oh? Is THAT why you can't take mah ears? Too old! Hahaha!!" Ritsuka pranced about the room, doing circles around a panting Soubi.

"Dammit..." Soubi, gasping for air, reached out and grabbed Ritsuka by the collar.

"Agh!" Ritsuka yelped, suddenly jerked back by Soubi. He knelt down on one knee, pulled Ritsuka on top of him, and pulled him into a big hug. As he did, two equally-drunken figures walked through the front door.

"Nashuo-chan! Youjee-shan! You're back!" Ritsuka jumped up, running to embrace the two swaying figures.

"Ugh...Ritsuka...How'd you get here so fast?" Natsuo asked, using his hand to cover his eyes from the bright light of the apartment.

"The power of LOVE!!" Ritsuka giggled, running back to give Soubi a kiss.

'Are you sure it wasn't the power of 'I'm wasted, and people took pity on me?'' The other three thought silently to themselves, sending odd glances in Ritsuka's direction.

"What?" The dark haired boy asked. Looking at his lover, he asked "Did I say something strange?"

"No..." Soubi's cheeks grew hot from both embarrassment at Ritsuka's retort, and angry at the confirmation of his suspicions on who gave him beer. "But I'm planning on killing Natsuo and Youji tonight. Sorry, Ritsuka."

"Ugh. Fine..." Ritsuka said, plopping down on the couch. Grabbing the remote for the TV, he paid no attention to the screams and pleas for mercy emitting from Soubi's torture chamber, where Natsuo and Youji were currently being held captive.

--

"Hey...Shoubi." Ritsuka said, looking up at the man who had taken his beer, and was now drinking it himself.

"Yes?"

"Want to role-play?"

"Role-play? What's that?" Soubi asked, tilting his head to the side.

"You know, role-play. Where you pretend to be shomeone else..." Ritsuka trailed off, a mysterious glint in his eyes.

"I guess..."

"Great! Then let's shee...You be you..."

"Uh-huh." Soubi nodded, still not seeing the point in the game that took away from their 'snuggle-time.'

"And I'll be me..."

"Yeah...?"

"If I was seventeen!" The now-semi-sober Ritsuka tackled Soubi on the couch.

"Hey!! No fair!"

"All's fair in love and war!" Ritsuka giggled, trying to force himself on the larger man.

"Ritsuka!! No!"

"Why? Aren't you interested in me?" Ritsuka sat up, looking hurt.

"Well, of course, but I--"

"Good! Then come on!" Ritsuka grinned, shoving Soubi down again.

"Grargh!"

--

"Ugh--My head hurts..." Ritsuka whispered, clutching his throbbing head.

"I thought I told you. Hangovers are hell." Soubi said, opening the blinds to teach his master a lesson.

"G'rargh!! Tooo briiiiight!!" Ritsuka yelled, hiding back under the covers.

"That's fine. I've called in some...friends to help me teach you the importance of sobriety and temperance!" Soubi whispered into his ear, hugging his small frame. Sitting on the bed, he pulled back the covers to show a rather annoyed and blushing Ritsuka peeking back at him.

"Who--?!" Ritsuka jumped back under the covers, (Causing Soubi to fall to the ground) using the pillows to cover his ears, as Kio came in with an electric guitar.

"Hey, Rit-chan! I don't really want to do this, -okay, so I do- but Sou-chan says I have to make up for ditching him last night. Soooo..." Kio plugged in his guitar, and played a series of very fast and very loud power chords.

"Agh!! KIO!! SOUBI!! I HATE YOU BOTH!!" Ritsuka shouted, as he experienced the hangover from hell.

--Later--

"Hey Sou-chan." The whelp-covered and bleeding Kio said as he managed to escape from Ritsuka's grasp.

"What is it? And why are you bleeding...?" Soubi glanced at him, stopping his paintbrush mid-stroke.

"Ritsuka has a good left hook...I thought he was non-violent..."

"He _is_ a pacifist, last time I checked." Soubi agreed, laughing at his friend's bloodied face.

"It's not funny!" Kio stomped like a little kid. Tugging at his grey and yellow sweatshirt, he dried at his eyes. "It hurt!!"

"Sure."

"Shut up, you sadistic bully!"

"Yeah, yeah. So what do you need?"

"Hm? Oh yeah." Kio ran over to the 'Big Bully' who had made him cry. He grabbed the taller man from under his arms, and hoisted him up onto his feet. With a large amount of protest from his 'victim,' he managed to give Soubi a big bear hug.

"I'm so PROUD of, you, Sou-chan!!"

"Wh-Why?" Soubi struggled for air.

"Because--"

"Can't...breathe!"

"Hm? OH!" Letting his blue-colored friend go, he continued. "You didn't take Rit-chan's ears! Even though he was totally sloshed, and you easily coulda taken him, you stood your ground! So, good for you!"

"Yeah...cough no thanks to you..." He glared at the other man.

"Well..."

--Several Days Later--

--

"Hey, Soubi." Ritsuka poked the sleeping mass beside him. As Soubi refused to wake up, Ritsuka puffed out his cheeks, and pouted. "Soubi! Get UP!!" Ritsuka shouted, kicking the older man out of his own bed. Awakening as he crashed to the floor, Soubi looked up drowsily.

"Wh-what is it?" Soubi shook his head, unable to go back to sleep.

"What's today's date?" Ritsuka asked, sweetly and innocently. Giving Ritsuka a stern look, he walked over to a calendar Ritsuka had given him, that he had hung on the wall. Reaching out to find his glasses, he stumbled over to where Ritsuka was holding them out.

"Thank you." Soubi acknowledged in his rather gruff morning voice. Walking back to where the calendar was, he had to do a double-take to make sure he had read it right. "No way..."

"What is it?" Ritsuka questioned, sneaking up behind the shocked man.

'Crap!' Soubi yelled in his mind, trying to hide the calendar with his body.

"C'mon Soubi! What's today!?" Ritsuka tried to peak over the older man's shoulder, but to no avail. "Let-Me-See!!"

"Uh--How about some breakfast first, hm?" Soubi lurched forward to give the boy a quick kiss on the cheek. Ritsuka, not realizing what Soubi was trying to do, obliged.

"Can I have...Anything I want?" Staring into the blonde man's eyes, he saw the truth in the man's words when he said:

"Of course."

"Yay! I want--" Ritsuka stopped, and looked down.

"Ritsuka? What is it? Something the matter?" Soubi called over his shoulder.

"No...It's just an e-mail I got from Yuiko-chan..." Ritsuka's eyes widened as he read the message.

"Ritsuka! NO! Don't read it!" Soubi sprinted from the kitchen, throwing his 'Kiss the Cook' apron carelessly to the floor.

"Why..." Soubi tried to grab the phone from his small, frail hands, but was ordered to stop. "...Didn't you tell me?"

"I can't tell you that." Soubi's eyes seemed to glaze over, as he recognized defeat.

"Grr...This doesn't have anything to do with the whole 'ears' thing, does it? Answer me!" Ritsuka began to whine. Straightening his back, Soubi said

"So about breakfast..." Seeing what he called his 'Little Honey-Bun's Angry Face' threatening to show itself to him, he relented. "Yes...It does."

"Well...You'll have to make it up to me." Ritsuka gave him a hard look.

"How--" Just as he was about to give up on getting to spend some 'quality-time' snuggling with Ritsuka, Ritsuka kissed him.

"Well, today IS the 21st..." Ritsuka said, with a small half-smile.

--

Just to let everyone know, this ending was supposed to be the beginning of chapter 3...and Ritsuka wasn't drunk on his Birthday (when he said that)

YAY!! Thanks to all of you, I had a sudden stroke of BRILLIANCE!! (No dreams, tho... T.T) Plus, I lied! I went back and added more! Double-yay! My goal is to get it at LEAST 3 pages long... T.T Whenever I thought I couldn't go on, I looked at your reviews and my strength was renewed! Glomps to you all!! (It seems that when I threaten withhold future chapters, and demand reviews, I actually get them, so here's a shot!) IF YOU EVER WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER, REVIEW!! Pwease? (I just realized...even if Soubi did torture Natsuo & Youji...they wouldn't be able...to feel it. uh-oh. Anybody catch that?)

PleAsE R&R!!


	3. Chapter 3

Warning: Hm...Is there one?

Disclaimer: Me not own. Need I say More?

a/n Waah!! Thank you so much for all the reviews!! You make an ol' author happy!! My gratitude knows no bounds...

Yawn...

Dedicated to:

Akira E. A., who unknowingly introduced me to this website, and got me hooked. Also, because she had the _nerve_ to tell me I'd never be any good at writing, (before she even _READ_ any of my stories) I found the strength to prove her wrong!

HeeHee.

--

--Chapter 3: Explanations--

"R-Ritsuka? You can't...be serious!" Soubi managed, coming out of his shocked state.

"Well..." Ritsuka looked at the man, studying him. He had his arms crossed, and still stood a good few heads taller than himself. His blonde hair shown in even the fluorescent lighting, his eyes striking a chord within Ritsuka, as if needing to know he spoke the truth. "H-Hai."

"What did the e-mail say?" Soubi averted his eyes, trying to ignore the answer Ritsuka just gave.

"Oh nothing...Just 'Happy Birthday.'" Ritsuka beamed up at his Sentouki, trying to ease his anger.

"Of _course_...!" Soubi rolled his eyes, throwing his hands in the air. "Well, if you knew what today was, why did you bother asking me?" Soubi turned away from his master, thrusting his nose up in the air in annoyance.

"I didn't." Ritsuka said simply, looking at another new message, this time from Yayoi. "_'Happy Birthday, Ritsuka-kun._' Yayoi-san...so original. Oh well. Guess it's the thought that counts."

"What do you mean, you _didn't_?!" Soubi turned back around, grabbing Ritsuka by the shoulders.

"It means I didn't know. Why didn't you let me see the calendar?" Ritsuka pointed towards it, questioning Soubi in turn.

"..."

"_Well?"_

"B...eseffgptrwwettuhjrimsl..." Soubi threw his hand to his mouth, muffling his voice. Ritsuka grabbed at his hand.

"_Soubi!_ Come on!" Standing on his toes, he was able to reach Soubi's hand, and pull it from his mouth. "Out with it. That's an order."

"Yessir."

"Well?"

"I...I didn't want you to see it...because..."

_"Hm?"_ Ritsuka asked, entering a stare-off with the taller man.

"I knew...how you'd...react?" Soubi said, blushing. Unsatisfied, Ritsuka bared up at the other man, and asked for at least a _LITTLE_ elaboration. "I knew you'd...ask me to take your ears." Soubi managed, -barely.

"Well, why would that be a problem?" Ritsuka blurted out, his cheeks tinted red.

"Well--" At that moment, a pair of bandaged and bruised Zeroes blasted through the door, running towards the two.

"Soubi!! Are you gonna do it?! Are you gonna take Ritsuka-kun's _ears?!"_ Youji and Natsuo tried to yell, their voices still raw from last night's torture session. When they realized what they had just done, they turned to look at each other, and both boys turned an odd shade of green. Expecting a full-on beating from Soubi, they cowered behind the door. To their shock, they instead got a small, if not pleased smile. The two stared in horror, believing he was thinking of new and exciting ways to torture the two who felt no pain.

"Hello Natsuo-kun. Youji-kun. How would you two like some breakfast?" He beamed at the trembling pair that was backing into the door.

"N-No thanks!" Youji yelled, bolting out the door. Natsuo jerked around to follow him, but was caught by Soubi.

"And what about for_ you?" _His smile began to twitch a bit in annoyance. Slowly, as to not let Ritsuka see, he mouthed the words: _'HELP ME!!" _

'_Yeah, right!_' Natsuo whispered with a smirk, earning him a glare from the older man, who gripped his collar tighter.

"Sorry! The two of us are on a new diet!" Natsuo replied, wriggling out of Soubi's grasp.

"_OH_, really?" Soubi asked, more than a little miffed.

"Yup!"

"And what _KIND_ of diet, may I ask?" Looking around nervously, he ran out the door, calling behind him

"A no-knuckle-sandwich diet!"

"...dammit."

"Soubi!" Ritsuka whined, tapping his foot impatiently. Soubi turned to look at Ritsuka, and leaned down to the younger male's level.

"Ritsuka."

"Y-Yes?" Using his thumb and forefinger, Soubi lifted Ritsuka's chin, forcing him to look him in the eyes as he spoke.

"I..."

Ritsuka looked up expectantly.

"...love you." Pressing his lips softly against Ritsuka's, he managed to distract Ritsuka's mind for just a moment, giving him the chance to utter a quick wordspell to make the boy in his arms fall asleep.

--

a/n Sorry it's so short...I hope that cleared everything up? (some?) Anyways, I think you'll like the next chapter better.

This was where I was planning on asking for ideas for latter chapters, BUT...I had the next-best-thing to a dream! -See first chapter for relevance- Gym class! My friends' and mine's boredom! Rather perverted minds! All these were factors that contributed to the next chappie!! Even if you got bored with this one, I promise it'll be better! Not believe me? Well,

guess you'll just have to read it for yourself!

PwEaSe RevIew! ('cuz we both know you love me enough to do it. XD)


	4. Chapter 4

Warning: Well, we wouldn't want to _SPOIL_ anything, now _WOULD_ we.

Oh. The Birds & the Bees speech, I guess.

Disclaimer: MePoor. Poor means Me have not a penny to me name, much less the awesome story that is Loveless!

a/n hm...hope this chapter is better than the last...It's short, but don't judge a book by its cover...

Or in THIS case, a webpage...by its...computer monitor? Title? Uh...a little help with the witty banter, please?

P.S: If you don't like it, blame Briana-sensei and C. Reynolds-chan! They are the other halves of my brain. This chapter was caused by our combined idiocy! **YAY** for having gym class together!

Sorry it took so long to update. I don't see **YOU GUYS** updating _DAILY_!! So -Nya-! Aah! Please don't eat me! -runs off scared-

On to chapter...4? I think?

--

Natsuo and Youji sat at the kitchen table, talking about nothing in particular as Ritsuka came in.

"Where's Soubi?" Ritsuka looked around, still pissed at the ever-annoying, smooch-talking blonde man.

"Hm? Soubi? Oh, yeah. He left." Natsuo said, looking bored as usual. Youji poked the red-headed boy, while he continued to fiddle with his eye patch.

"What?! Where'd he go?!" Ritsuka ran up to the table, slamming his hands down on it.

"School." Soubi was trying to earn his Master's Degree in Art, and was in his second to last year. Ritsuka's anger diminished only enough to ask if he said when he'd be back.

"He didn't." Youji said simply, popping a sugar-covered strawberry into his overly-large mouth. Ritsuka sank down into his seat, laid his hands on the table, and rested his head on top of it. As he spoke through the sleeves of his pajamas, all Natsuo and Youji could hear were muffled curses.

"So...Rit-chan..." Ritsuka looked up, eying Youji, slightly annoyed by the adding of '-chan' to his first name, as only Kio was brave enough to do.

"What?"

"Well, I was gonna ask how '_it_' went, but seeing as you still have your ears, I can't really ask _THAT,_ now can I?" Youji smiled playfully, before hiding behind Natsuo's ample supply of poofy red hair.

"...I...uh..." Ritsuka blushed, unable to come up with an answer to the question Youji didn't ask.

Desperate to break the awkward silence that was lying in the hair, Natsuo spoke up with a sigh.

"So...I wonder when you lose your ears." Ritsuka sat up, and both he and Youji gave him puzzled looks. Seeing this, he decided to go on. "Well, I mean, we all know that you lose your ears along with your virginity, right? Well, exactly _WHEN _

do you? Afterwards? When you first start? When?!" Looking at him, they both realized it was a question none of them had ever bothered to ask.

"Uh...erm...huh. I don't really...know." Ritsuka thought aloud.

"Maybe we should ask Soubi, or...Kio?" Youji looked around.

Thinking aloud again, Ritsuka asked "Do you think you lose 'em if you...Jack off?" Stunned, Natsuo and Youji turned to look at the normally 'innocent' Ritsuka, baffled.

"What?!"

"I don't know...It was just a thought..." Ritsuka blushed, realizing what he had just said.

"Good thing Soubi wasn't here to hear _THAT_..." Natsuo and Youji grinned at each other.

"What about if you get a prostate exam?!" Natsuo chuckled, while Youji nearly fell out of his chair from laughing. Ritsuka giggled, and answered with a

"Yeah! And I wonder _HOW_ you lose 'em too!" Natsuo and Youji looked up, suddenly a look of pondering gracing their girlish features.

"What do you mean?" Youji piped up, getting up off the floor.

"Well...You know. Do they just like, disappear, or something...?" Natsuo and Youji turned to look at each other, giggling.

"Yeah! Or maybe they just fall off!" Youji said excitedly.

"No!" Natsuo said, in a fit of giggles. "_Neither_ of those!"

"Then what?" Ritsuka looked at him skeptically. Natsuo gave a very lewd smile, and hugged Youji to his chest, making rather perverted actions between the two of them.

"They get smaller with each and every thrust!!" Youji's eyes widened in embarrassment, but he didn't bother to push the other boy away. Ritsuka entered a fit of giggles himself, imaging the idea.

"...What if you're on top?" Youji asked, deep in thought. "How would that work?" He added, fiddling with a long strand of his hair.

Natsuo smirked, adding

"Wanna find out?" as he tackled Youji to the ground.

"Hn...I wonder if you could only lose _ONE_ ear..."

Natsuo turned to look at Ritsuka, as Youji peered out from under him to stare as well.

"..."

"..."

"...It was just a thought." Ritsuka stated, blushing, as he stood up to go to the refrigerator. As he did, Natsuo and Youji continued their conversation, howling with laughter.

"Hey, Youji..." Natsuo looked at the other Zero, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"What is it, Natsuo?"

"I was just wondering..."

"Hn?" Youji looked at the other boy quizzically.

"Do you think it hurts to lose your _TAIL_?!" He giggled, and fell back on his back.

"Hm..." Youji joined him on the floor, accepting a beer that Natsuo handed him. "Maybe that's a theory we should _TEST?" _He pretended to ponder.

"_Could be..._Could be..." Natsuo added with a nod and a smirk.

--

Soubi entered his house several moments later, hoping Ritsuka had forgotten about their earlier conversation. Upon hearing the three people he had taken under his wing laughing like idiots, he supposed they had either

A) gotten drunk again,

B) found his personal stash of -ahem- pictures of him and Ritsuka, or

3) all of the above.

"What's going on in here?" he asked, smiling as he kissed Ritsuka on the cheek.

"Oh, nothing. We were just talking about losing our ears..." Natsuo said, looking up.

"Natsuo?" Soubi looked at teh boy, setting his bag and art portfolio down on the table.

"What?"

"...Why are you straddling Youji?" he sighed, not sure if he really _WANTED_ to know.

"Does it really matter?" He shot back, shrugging his shoulders.

"Hn..." He shrugged off the question, and turned his attention to Ritsuka, who _WAS_ indeed drinking beer.

"_That_ AGAIN?" He gave Ritsuka an annoyed look, and tried not to smack the Zeroes he was sure had given him the beer.

"Yup!" Ritsuka took another swig of beer.

"Do you _WANT_ to die of liver cirrhosis?" He gave Ritsuka an exasperated look, sighing.

"Oh, yeah! Big word, Soubi-chan! 20 points for _THAT_ one!" Youji giggled at Natsuo's sarcastic remark.

"Watch it. And what did you mean when you said you were talking about losing your ears?" Soubi asked, stealing Ritsuka's beer, and taking a swig of it himself.

"We were wondering how you lose them..." Ritsuak said with a blush.

"Hn...well, you lose them when you have sex. I thought you knew that." Soubi said bluntly, setting the beer back down on the table, empty. Ritsuka frowned, and moved to grab another one.

"I did...but..." He sighed, as Soubi pushed him back down into his seat, not about to let him get another beer.

"'But' what?" Soubi raised an eyebrow, looking at the smaller boy.

"But...I was wondering _HOW_ you...lose...them..." He trailed off, waiting for his fighter to respond. When he finally registered what Ritsuka was saying, an awkward silence ensued. Completely unaffected by the awkwardness of the rather sensitive situation, Natsuo crawled off of Youji, and ran to the kitchen's refrigerator to grab another beer. Peeking over the counter, he looked at the silent, earless man staring at the blushing Ritsuka, and finally broke the awkward silence -again-.

"So...How _DOES _it work, Soubi?"

"How does..._WHAT_ work, Natsuo?" He turned his attention to the red-haired boy, thankful for the interruption.

"How do you lose your ears?" Soubi froze, and it took him several minutes before he answered.

"It was...a rather long time ago...I don't really recall." He trailed off, and became lost in his memories. Noting the sad tone in his fighter's normally cheerful voice, Ritsuka hastily changed the subject.

--

a/n

Short, I know...sorry! I'm planning one more chapter after this one, _MAYBE _two.

Any ideas/requests, and I will gladly lengthen the series! '

hm...anybody notice the '3' I put, instead of 'C?' HeeHee! Not very _OBSERVANT_, are we?

It'll be awhile before I can post anything new...I'm going to a camp. So, _this_ time I have an EXCUSE for not posting!!

PLeZe R&R!!


	5. Chapter 5 FOURSOME!

Warning: I'm overly-emotional at times...Oh, about the STORY?

Me: -ahem- I was gonna TRY to put smut in here, I mean I really, REALLY was...I tried...really hard to write it...but... TT.TT

Disclaimer: I don't own. Seriously. If I did, what would be the point in writing FAN fiction? Besides, if I DID own Loveless, Ritsu-sensei would burn with a cackling Soubi in the background. Heh heh. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

a/n Heehee. Thanks to all who reviewed. For those of you who just 'favorite storied' me, or just put me on 'alert' just to let you know, I have FEELINGS TOO! Would it really KILL YOU to just simply -at least- say 'XD,' or something?! WAH!!  
Youji plushie Look! You made her cry! Only me and Nat-chan can do that! Grr...  
Me: AWW!! I LURVE You, Youj-plush! glomps  
Youji-plush: Argh! Get away! Your hugs burn!! Aaaah!!

BTW: The reason this took me so long to post is because my Internet was disconnected shortly after completing it! So, it's not my fault! T.T

Footnotes are at the end.

For anyone who's wondering, this is (obviously) placed after the Zeroes have moved in with Soubi (If you hadn't already realized that, I mean...really. Come on.) and...I haven't read past the 7th volume of the manga, so I can't say what it's placed before...

SPECIAL Thanks To:

C. Reynolds (like-the-wrap) -chan! -- she's awesome!  
and everyone who put up with me while at camp! -speaking of camp, (kinda) I got a worse sunburn while babysitting outside than at camp. (it was on my hand...I was reading a book with my jacket on, so it looks really funny.)-

On to chapter 5.

--Chapter 5 Four-Some?!--

'What should I do? The way I keep pushing Ritsuka away...It can't be a good thing.' Soubi leaned his head back against the wall, sighing. His dampened blonde hair stuck to the smooth shower wall, as he tilted his head away from the water. The mist swirled around him as he closed his crystal eyes to think. 'Maybe it IS time to take his ears...(1)'

Soubi sighed inwardly as he turned off the water, and pushed back the shower curtain. Grabbing his misted glasses, he searched for his robe, and pulled it on his slightly scarred and muscled frame after drying it off with a towel. He hesitated as he dabbed at the still painful scar reading 'B E L O V E D' on his neck. Whenever he looked at it, he couldn't help but think of his former master, the cruel and calculating Seimei. But at the same time, it reminded him of the even stronger bond that he and Ritsuka 

now shared. It led him to wonder, 'Would our bond really be strengthened if I take his ears? Or will he recoil from me, afterwards? Dammit!!' He yelled in his head, as he punched the wall with his fist.

"Soubi?" He jumped slightly as he heard the voice of his teenage sacrifice calling to him from the adjoining bedroom, his voice laced with worry. "Is everything all right?" He rubbed the bridge of his nose, scolding himself mentally for letting his emotions slip, as he answered.

"No...Everything's fine, Ritsuka."

"Are you sure?"

"Everything's fine. Really." He smiled at his Sacrifices' concern for him, even though the teenager definitely couldn't see the smile from the other room.

"Alright..." Ritsuka's voice trailed off.

His smile didn't disappear as he went to speak to said boy.

Ritsuka lay on Soubi's bed reading a book titled 'An Introduction to Nietzsche (2)', as he was too lazy to get up and go to his own room to read the thick grey novel. His ears twitched as he heard the sound of the bathroom door opening. The teenager didn't bother to look up as he heard Soubi's footsteps grow nearer, until the tall blonde man put a hand on his shoulder and whispered his name gently in his ear.

"Ritsuka..." he glanced at the older man briefly before quickly returning to his book. Soubi began to feel nervous at the indifferent expression on his Master's girlish features. "Ah...Can we...talk?" With this, he received a quick glance, and a brief

"No. I'm reading." Soubi's expression dimmed, his smile all but fading from where it had once been.

"Can't it wait?" he looked at the boy, pleadingly.

"...Alright."

"Really?!" Soubi smiled excitedly, for no apparent reason.

"Yes. But make it quick, okay?" The dark haired teen relented, sitting up on the bed as he bookmarked his place and set it down.

"M-hm!" He grinned, readying himself for what he had to say next.

"So, what is it?" Ritsuka asked, staring at his Sentouki, as he continued to finger the pages of his book.

"Ritsuka...I..." he smiled unsurely before he continued, "I think...I am going to take you up on your offer." He had to avoid looking Ritsuka in the eye at all costs, afraid of being rejected again, even by his own Sacrifice, which he had sworn to protect.

"I don't think so," Ritsuka frowned, a scornful note in his voice. "Not after you openly rejected me so many times."

"But--" Soubi tried to explain, but wasn't given the chance. Before he could, Ritsuka had already turned back to his book, and was laying down reading it again.

"Forget it. You obviously don't care enough for me, so why should I--" Before he was able to finish, Soubi had grasped him by the shoulders and pulled him into a searingly hot kiss. He ached to wrap his arms around the older man's neck, pulling him closer, but knew that if he did, his Sentouki wouldn't learn his lesson. (3) As Soubi broke the kiss so the teen could breathe, he whispered his affections to the younger boy.

"Ritsuka..." He pulled the boy into a tight embrace, unwilling to let go of his still small frame. "I love you."

Ritsuka's eyes widened, as Soubi released him. "...Soubi...?" He looked up at the older man as he slumped back onto the bed, touching his kiss-swollen lips. Soubi again looked pleadingly at the wide-eyed boy, who was so unused to him being so serious and bold.

"Please, Ritsuka...Tell me the offer...still stands?" Ritsuka stared into the crystal blue eyes, searching for the answer to his unspoken question.

"I'm sorry..." He looked up to see Soubi's shocked expression at his sudden change of heart.

"R-Ritsuka!?" He bent over the bed to look Ritsuka in the eye, brushing the boy's left cheek with his own soft hand. "Please...Let me make up for whatever I may have done..." he sighed lightly as he pulled him in for another kiss, running his fingers through Ritsuka's soft coal-colored hair. He smiled slightly against the small boy's lips, as he felt Ritsuka wrap his arms tightly around his Sentouki, shifting as to get a better grip on the still damp man. Ritsuka slowly slid his eyes shut, as he licked the bottom of Soubi's lips, _begging_ for entrance into the older man's mouth. Shocked, yet pleased by Ritsuka's boldness, he complied, sliding his mouth open _agonizingly _slowly.

"You...can't. Not like this..." Ritsuka panted, coming to his senses as he grabbed his book.

Soubi lowered his head, having figured that would be his answer beforehand. 'At least I tried...' He thought, his cheeks burning red with shame, as he mumbled something to himself.

"Pardon?" Ritsuka looked at his Sentouki.

Soubi took a deep breath before saying it louder. "I said...You're wrong."

At this, Ritsuka arched an eyebrow. "Wrong? What about?" Soubi shifted from his standing position on the cold, wooden floor, and lurched forward to answer.

"You're wrong...I DO love you..." As he said this, he wrapped his slender, calloused fingers into Ritsuka's dark hair. Soubi pressed his lips up against Ritsuka's, demanding a reaction from the smaller boy. His 

bathrobe silently slipped off one smooth, pale shoulder, and made its way to the floor beneath him. Ritsuka leaned into the kiss, his body reacting all on its own. Without him realizing it, Soubi had wrapped his unoccupied arm around Ritsuka's waist, and was slowly lowering him onto the bed. Realizing what he was doing, Soubi snapped his head up, and broke the kiss.

"Soubi?" Ritsuka opened his eyes to look at his Sentouki, a small smile on his face.

"It's nothing, Ritsuka, just...are you okay with this?" the naked blonde man said to the _nearly_ fully-clothed Ritsuka. Before he could answer, the door to the bedroom was suddenly slammed open, causing Soubi to lurch forward to protect Ritsuka from any possible harm instinctively. In popped a rather surprised and flustered Natsuo. _"NATSUUUOOO!!"_

_"SOUUUBIII!!" _Natsuo replied in a mocking tone, pulling Soubi off Ritsuka and tackling the older man to the ground.

"What the hell?! Get offa me!!" Soubi yelled at the boy sitting on his waist as he tried to get out from under him. (3)

"So, tell me Soubi," Natsuo ignored him casually. "Are you gonna sleep with Rit-chan?" At this, Soubi's cheeks heated up, and he could feel the blush rushing across his cheeks. Ritsuka just stared at the two, rather entertained by the two Sentouki squabbling. "I mean you're _always_ talking about it…"

As Soubi kept squirming under the Zeroes' fighter unit, said team's sacrifice ran into Soubi's bedroom.

"Soubi!! Natsu-chan!! Ritsuka-kun!! Three-some?!" Youji looked at Loveless' blushing Sentouki, the indifferent Sacrifice, and his own mischievous fighter unit. "Can I join?" He said, an impish grin spreading across his fair face.

"I don't know, _CAN_ you?!" Natsuo returned the evil grin, still sitting atop of Soubi's lap.

"Good question. Let's find out, shall we?"

"Do lets, do lets..." Natsuo grinned, nodding as Youji caught the joke.

"Well, in that case..." Youji ran to where Ritsuka was laying on the bed, and jumped on top of him, straddling his waist much like Natsuo was doing to Soubi right now. Spying an opportunity, Natsuo clamored up off of Soubi, and jogged to where Youji and Ritsuka sat. Soubi stood, rubbing his temples in an attempt to ward off an oncoming headache. As he neared closer, he failed to notice the evil smirks appearing on the Zeroes faces. In a deft motion, Natsuo grabbed Soubi's glasses off his face and threw them to the ground, just out of Soubi's reach. With his victim blinded, Natsuo slung his arms around the taller man, wrapped his legs around him, and tackled him onto the ground. (again.)

"R-Ritsuka?!" Soubi's eyes widened, both in an attempt to adjust to the sudden loss of eyewear, and the surprise of what he _thought_ was his sacrifice coming onto him. When he heard a pleased hum come from the body atop of him, Soubi smiled, taking who he _thought _was Ritsuka into his arms, and kissing him. Pausing only a moment to lightly blush, Natsuo began to rapidly return Soubi's smooches. As he 

did, Youji decided he didn't want to be left out, and copied what the two on the floor were doing. Leaning down, he planted a few kisses on Ritsuka's cheek and neck, only managing to keep him still by taking his wrists into his own hands, and forcing him to lie down on the bed.

Noticing his Sacrifice's actions, Natsuo smirked and bit down on Soubi's neck, causing the older man to groan. Instantly, he began licking at the wound apologetically, an unusual comforting gesture from the Zero. Youji copied him, earning a yelp from Ritsuka.

"Get offa me!" yelled Ritsuka, pushing Youji away.

"What's wrong, Ritsuka? Don't you want to make a Lemon Scene with me?" Youji smirked down at him.

"No, I don't!" Ritsuka yelled as he was glomped by Youji. "I don't want to! Get 'way!"

"Ritsuka...please. I'll only ask you to do this once." Youji stared down at him, and for the first time Ritsuka could remember, he was completely serious.

"NO." -But that didn't stop him from turning him down.

"I-I see..." Youji sighed, looking away from him, and stared at the bed sheets beneath him. Ritsuka reached out to comfort Youji, but he jerked away.

All of a sudden, a tall, pierced, blonde man burst through the doors, much like the two Zeroes did. Noticing the four in a rather _compromising _situation, the blonde man gained a light blush, and stopped dead in his tracks. "Sou-chan? Are you..." The older man paled. "having a foursome? With...Rit-chan...Natsuo...and Youji?" Everyone in the room turned to look at each other, exchanging awkward looks.

"And...um, why is _NATSUO_ on top of you? I thought you wanted to smex Rit-chan..." Kio sucked on his lollipop and stared at Soubi and the Zero, trying to piece together how this came about.

"Huh? _NATSUO?_ What're you talking about, Kio? It's Ritsuka who's sitting on me. Tight?" Soubi began touching Natsuo's face, looking closely to check to make sure that it was really Ritsuka.

"Um, sorry to break this to ya, Sou-chan," Kio walked to where his glasses had been knocked off, and continued as he walked back to Soubi. "But that's Natsuo. Not Ritsuka."

"Wha--" Soubi practically slammed his glasses on to his face, blinking as everything came into clear view. Including Natsuo.

"Hi, Soubi!" Natsuo beamed at the bewildered bespectacled blonde man. (5) Soubi glared at him.

"Natsuo." Soubi growled, pushing off the younger boy. "You little--"

_'OMIGOD. SOU-CHAN'S __**NAKED.**__'_ Kio's mind raced as he openly stared at Soubi's bare body, causing a severe nosebleed, and receiving an odd look from Ritsuka. _"OMIGOD. OMIGOD. __**OH...MY...GOD!!"**_ Kio mentally fan-boyed, squealing as he imagined how Soubi would look in various places and poses.

"Hey! YOU'RE the one who kissed _me,_ if you've forgotten!" Natsuo growled back, ignoring Kio and lunging at the older man.

"Yes, but only because I thought you were _Ritsuka!!" _Soubi pushed him away. Natsuo looked hurt.

"Don't...don't you _LIKE_ me?" Natsuo's eyes welled up as if he was about to cry.

"It doesn't matter if I do or not." Soubi reached for a blanket to cover his naked form, receiving a cry of disappointment from a certain pierced man.

"But...but--" Natsuo's eyes were red and puffy, as the tears started pouring down. "I--"

"You're what? Sorry?" Soubi glared, walking to the dresser to get some clothes.

"No! I love you!" Soubi turned around, and all eyes in the room turned to Natsuo. "I've...always loved you."

"W-what?" Everyone in the room was bewildered, especially his Sacrifice.

"N-Natsuo?" Youji stared at him. "Are you...serious?"

"Y-yes..." Natsuo blushed, ducking his head against his chest. "I'm totally serious." he turned to Soubi.

"No...you're lying." Soubi laughed, trying to shrug off what Natsuo said. "Besides, even if it _were_ true, I'm in love with Ritsuka."

Ignoring what Soubi said, Natsuo called to him. "I've always loved you forever! Please, Soubi!" Soubi turned around. "So...so please--" he walked up to Soubi, grabbing his shirt and crying into it. He looked up, and smiled. "So...heh heh. Let's fuck!" He grinned, before falling to the floor, laughing his ass off. "Ahaha!! You _fell _for it! _HA! _What a loser! Right, Youji?!" He giggled, still rolling around on the ground.

"As if, you little asshole." Soubi glared. Now that the children had all grown up a bit, he didn't have to censor his language half as much, though he still tended to around Ritsuka. He turned to Ritsuka, and motioned for the two of them to leave. He just nodded.

"'Kay." He waved to the others as he and Soubi left, hand in hand.

"Y-Youji..." Natsuo giggled, "why aren't you laughing?? It was funny, right??"

"Huh? Oh...yeah. Really funny!" Youji forced a smile, and rubbed at his closed eyes.

"Youji? Is everything okay? You look a little...down." Natsuo shot him a worried glance, and walked over to where Youji was sitting up, rolled into a ball on the bed, resting his head against Kio's chest.

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

"Ritsuka...rejected me." he sighed, as fresh tears fell from his eyes. Kio reached over to wipe them away.

"What?! You _told_ him?! But--but I thought you said you wouldn't! You said that...that he is in love with Soubi, and he's happy! You said you didn't want to ruin their relationship."

"Yeah, well...I don't know. I guess I just...changed my mind." Youji sighed, making Natsuo get angry.

"So, you're just going to give up?!" He grabbed Youji by the shoulders, and shook him till his head looked like that of a bobble head doll. "Just because that short little bastard rejected you?! No. He _WILL_ fall in love with you, I'll make SURE of it. Do you have any idea how many people would _love_ to have you crushing on them? I know I'd--" he stopped, blushing.

"You'd...what?" Youji arched an eyebrow, giving Natsuo an odd look.

"Urk! Never mind that! Back to the main subject!" He blushed deeper, and gave Youji a fierce look. "You _will _take Ritsuka's ears. I'll make _sure_ of it."

--

Footnotes:

(1) Just a thought...everyone always says "they lost their ears," but don't they also have TAILS?

(2) This was the title of the book Ritsuka was reading in the first chapter/episode. 20 points for anyone who remembered!

(3) If you reject someone enough, they might not be there when you want them. --Moral of the story. XD

(4) ...I just remembered...Sou-chan's nakey. oO"

(5) Don't deny it. when you read that, you tried to say it 5 times fast, right? -or am I the only one? I hope not... ,-.-',-

a/n If you're reading this, C. Reynolds -like the wrap- -chan, I'm sorry it's different from what you recommended...XD I couldn't help it! Wow. The end was like...Soap Opera. (It was originally mainly dirty jokes and weird situations, but then...something happened. I have no idea what, but something happened. )

Thanks for reading! R E V I E W!! -- Probably my shortest a/n ever.

P.S. Sorry. No lemon. I got scared when I realized I couldn't write worth a crap, deleted said scene, and kicked my own ass, so you guys wouldn't have to do it for me.


	6. Chapter 6 P A L A D I N

Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless.

[a/n] Mygawd. I dug myself into a freaking DEEP hole with that last chapter...so this is completely unplanned, as of chapter five, and I hope it makes sense...Okay, as of right now, Soubi and Ritsuka haven't faced off with Beloved. Understood? This is a somewhat crack piece, therefore I can manipulate it as I wish. Do you have problems with that? Good. I don't care. Flame me, I'll still count it as a _lovely_ review. ^.^ By the way, if you have reviewed me, I've probably already advertised this to you, but listen up! The PREQUEL to WRDD is up, completed, and needs a new title. When you REVIEW, make sure to tell me of a new idea...I may even write a drabble/one-shot for you if your title is picked...XP

I apologize for neglecting my fanfics for so long. I've been really busy/sick.

This posting is in honor of me scraping enough money together to somehow buy Loveless volume eight! (Two months late...XD) XP  
Important note: bledding black rose fortunately informed me that the legal consent age for Japan is not twenty, but around thirteen. But, as it is rather hard to go back and change that, I decided to use Author's Liberty and just add this as a sidenote. Besides. It's a society of cat/dog people. I think it's safe to say that the legal age can be messed with for crazed otaku purposes, ne?

Enjoy chapter six, "Paladin."

--------------------------------------

_**Paladin**__**- 1. A paragon of chivalry; a heroic champion. 2. A strong supporter or defender of a cause**__.  
(The American Heritage College Dictionary; Third edition.)_

--------------------------------------

"Soubi." Ritsuka looked up wearily from his homework to where the blonde Sentouki was preparing their dinner.

"What is it, Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, his gaze never leaving the stove before him.

"I've been wondering...why did you say you would not take my ears until I was at least seventeen?" the neko-boy replied, twisting his pencil around in his fingers.

"Well, it's probably because Sou-chan doesn't want to be called a hentaisha (1) more often than he already is..." Kio offered, removing his cherry flavored lollipop and swinging it around dramatically, as he leaned back in his chair.

"Kio, _you're _the only one who calls me that." Soubi glanced at his best friend, then at the Zeroes playing video games in the next room. "Well, and Youji...and Natsuo...and sometimes Ritsuka--"

"My point exactly." Kio declared triumphantly, moving to throw the bare paper lollipop stick in the trash can.

"Wait...but I could've sworn that legal age in Japan was twenty, not seventeen..." Ritsuka looked at the two older males, one meticulously preparing their food, the other crossing the room to sit at the table next to him, confusion apparent on his still childish features.

"It is, but you will have graduated by then, and nobody would think twice about a college student missing their tails and ears." Kio answered for his friend again, grinning from ear to ear as he did so.

"Is that really why, Soubi?" Ritsuka ventured a glance at him, and was rewarded with a prize-winning blush.

"...That might have been part of it..." Soubi replied quietly, reaching for an orange bottle of spices. Everyone in the kitchen except Kio had a pink tint to their cheeks, and said people were plainly wishing for a subject change.

"Argh, _dammit!!_" The Zeroes shouted in unison from the next room over.

Ritsuka's ears pricked up at the sound. He had always had an acute sense of hearing. Once he had heard that adults couldn't hear as many frequencies as kids. Maybe it had something to do with the loss of their ears? He didn't know, but hopefully he would be finding out soon! "What is it guys?"

"Our game just DIED! Stupid play station... (2)" Youji sighed, picking the game console up, and raising it above his head, as if he was planning to smash it to bits. The green haired boy stopped when he saw the glare from Soubi, and flashed an evil smile towards the blonde just as he was starting to bring it down. Soubi narrowed his crystal eyes, uttering a silent warning through the gesture.

"You had better be careful with that. It was Seimei's." The Zeroes smiles faded at the solemn look Ritsuka gave them, urging Youji to put it down.

"You're no freaking fun, you know that?" Youji glowered up at the blonde man. Despite being nearly eighteen years old now, both of the zeroes were considerably shorter than Soubi, although Natsuo stood several inches above his green-haired, earless lover. Sensing the tense atmosphere, Kio decided to try and alleviate some of the pressure.

"Hey, what game were you brats playing, anyway?" Kio turned to look at Youji and Natsuo, who had already plugged the game back in, switched the console on, rebooted the system, and loaded it to the start screen. Not bothering to look up from their game to the pierced man who had walked over to observe, they answered with a quick synopsis of it.

"Basically, it's a role-playing game, with lots of other people playing," Natsuo started, letting Youji take it from there.

"You can play as different characters, and earn Experience points with battles..."

"You can get armor," Youji looked up at Kio, putting his controller down to turn and face him, brushing a long, green bang out of his face.

"There are different ranks, and types of characters, from wizards to animals, to kings and dragons. You can also just run around to gain gold or items, or chat with friends. Some people only log on for the Special Events, so they can get one-of-a-kind items. It seems like a waste to me though, to pay for the game and then never play it." he shrugged, picking up the controller again. Kio looked at the starter screen as they selected their usernames.

"Wait...that says SEIMEI. That..._kid_ had an account?" Kio spat the phrase as if he were going to say something nasty, but had settled for 'kid' instead.

"Yup, he was really high-ranked too. Level one hundred, even. Too bad he died, all that work for nothing." Natsuo said rather heartlessly, receiving a snicker from Youji.

"Yeah, such a shame." Kio rolled his eyes, receiving half-hearted glares of obligation from both Ritsuka and Soubi. "Anyway, so what was he, an orc?"

"No...let's see here. He was..." Youji selected Seimei's character, scrolling down his list of stats. "A paladin."

"Hm? What's that?"

"It's some kind of holy knight, I think." Ritsuka answered for him, a proud smile on his face.

"_Him? _That _bastard _was a _holy knight?!_" Kio yelled incredulously.

"Yeah, he was a really popular character too, everybody liked him." Natsuo said, exiting the statistics screen.

_**"HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?!" **_Kio grabbed the controller, messing around with it to figure out how to log into the game through Seimei's account.

"Well, they said he was really nice. He would throw himself in front of lower-leveled players, getting experience points. Then, out of gratitude, or something _stupid_ like that, the people he saved would give him _gifts_, or healing potions to heal his minor wounds. He played dirty, though the other players were either too _stupid_ or too _gullible_ to realize that he was using them." Natsuo replied, reaching for his controller, which Kio held just out of his reach.

"Now _that_ sounds more like the bastard I knew!" Kio grinned triumphantly, opening up a lollipop and throwing the wrapper over his shoulder and into the trashcan, which bounced off the rim and fell in dramatically. Sticking the lollipop in his mouth, he sat down to play the game.

_'Hey, Seimei! It's been quite awhile since you logged in! Planning on saving a few lives today?'_ A friendly dog-creature-thing asked, sauntering up to the cloaked paladin.

_'Back off, you rat-assed bastard!'_ the paladin (or rather, the person playing him) growled.

_'Whoa, what's got you so riled up? I don't think I've ever seen you angry.'_ The blue furred dog creature replied, analyzing Seimei's reaction.

"Shaddup, you incompetent dog." Kio punched in, before going to attack some poor, innocent, low-leveled bystander.

_'And I've NEVER seen you attack someone unless it was absolutely necessary...or for someone else's defense…'_ he added in wonder, staring at the character like he had never met him before. (which he of course hadn't.)

_'So? That wasn't the real me, understand? I was just using you idiots for my own gain--'_ Soubi grabbed the controller from Kio's hands.

"That's enough. I won't have you soil Seimei's reputation like this, understood?" Soubi glared at Kio, earning a somewhat apologetic grin. Handing the controller to Ritsuka, he drug Kio into the kitchen to have a nice, long 'chat' with his friend.

_'I'm sorry, that was an acquaintance of mine that I allowed to log on under my name. I hope he didn't inflict any damage upon you?' _Ritsuka frantically asked the blue dog, using the square and circle buttons to flip through the different hiragana on the screen. The other player looked relieved at the change in attitude.

_'Ah, yes. I figured it was something like that. No, I'm fine.'_ hearing a groan from the n00b (3) the paladin had attacked earlier, the creature amended it's earlier statement. _'But that guy...not so much.'_ Ritsuka looked to where the player was pointing, and quickly checked Seimei's inventory. Finding a healing potion, he maneuvered over to the injured player, handing the concoction to him.

_'Are you alright?'_ the injured player looked at the item skeptically, before taking it from the paladin. _'I'm sorry for what happened earlier. Someone I know logged on under my name, before I could stop them.'_

_'It's okay, paladin-san. I'm fine now.'_ the player had a butterfly themed costume on, covered in rich colors not commonly seen on any character under level seventy-nine_. 'I think I've heard of you before. It's nice to know you live up to the stories I've heard. I didn't think any real heroes existed these days.'_ And with that, the player logged out, but not before Ritsuka caught a glimpse of the username.

"Nisei?"

--------------------

(1)- "hentaisha" means "pervert."

(2)- In my world, the play station can be played online like the Xbox 360, and it's not an internet game. Screw logic, and the original storyline. That stuff is for LOSERS. Much like gravity, and air.

(3)- internet slang for a newbie. Used by higher-level players in an insulting way towards the less experienced.

[a/n] Short, pointless chapter. I am thinking of writing a spin-off of this story, but with Ritsuka having a male harem to choose from, or maybe one about how the Zeroes get drunk... What do ya think?

--------------IMPORTANT!!! FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER, THE CAST IS GOING TRICK-OR-TREATING!! I NEED IDEAS ON WHAT YOUJI'S, NATSUO'S, YUIKO'S, SOUBI'S, AND RITSUKA'S COSTUMES SHOULD BE! I already have an idea for Kio's, but if I get a REALLY good suggestion, I'll change it. THANK YOU!!--------------

PLEASE REVIEW.

That's right. You can now review anonymously, so there is absolutely NO REASON not to. Unless of course you're illiterate; which presents the question: Why the heck are you on , a site dedicated to all _written_ fanfiction works? And why are you 'reading' a fanfic of a _book, _a _manga_ no less?!! Huh?! Answer me!! -in review form, please!-

Seriously. REVIEW.

I mean it.

NOW.

Click the little arrow button.

Go ahead.

Try it.

It's right next to the 'Submit Review' block.

Right there.

Click it.

Just move your mouse over the square, and CLICK.

You know you waaaannnttt toooo........

DO IT.

DO IT!!

DO ITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm done. -grin- Now go review. -glare-


	7. Chapter 7 Halloween, Part I

Warning: Psycho children on candy highs...

Disclaimer: The only things in here that I own are Psycho Child Kai and the plot of this here fanfic...

[a/n] I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, and gave me ideas for the costumes in this chapter! -bows- I would never get half way done with this series if it weren't for you guys! (For anyone concerned, I cannot see the ending of this series anywhere in the near future.) WOO-HOO!! I HAVE OVER FIFTY REVIEWS!!! YEAH!!!!!!!! I'm really sorry about the lateness of this chapter...I had hoped to have it written and posted before Halloween, but, oh, well...techincally, it's in time for THIS YEAR'S Halloween...(HOLY CRAP, I'M SORRY IT'S A DAY LATE!! D8 I was on a sugar high 'cause of Halloween candy at my friend's house, and hahaha...well...it's only one day, right? I won't get mawled for not updating in over a year...right? o.O RIGHT?!! -runs away)  
BWAHAHAHAHA!! AS THIS IS AU, THEY OFFICIALLY CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN IN JAPAN, SO, HA!! DEAL WITH IT!! (Author's Liberty!! Tra la la la la...!!)

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:

fouloldron

For giving me the PERFECT suggestions for the costumes. I am eternally indebted to you! -gives you a cookie-

and

Miyako Mizuki

For the best singular costume idea ever. XD

-

* * *

Ritsuka woke, sighing as he rubbed at his eyes in the dim morning light."Good morning, my sleeping beauty," Ritsuka rolled over to look at the man beside him, no longer surprised by the fact that Soubi, a full grown man, often snuck into his bed while he was sleeping. "Did you have a nice dream?" He smiled, his tail curving around himself happily as he snuggled into the warmth of Soubi's body. Soubi chuckled to himself at the sight. "Heh. Would you happen to know what day it is, Ritsuka?" Ritsuka scrunched up his face silently, still too tired to remember something so trivial. He drowsily shook his head 'no.' "That's alright. You just woke up, and you've been so busy..." The sleepy boy beside him turned off of his stomach to give Soubi a confused look. "Don't worry, I've already gotten you a costume--"

"Costume? What the heck are you _talking_ about, Soubi?" Ritsuka groaned in a husky morning voice.

Soubi smiled. "It's Halloween today, Ritsuka."

-  
Ritsuka grumbled as he sat at the kitchen table. "We're _all_ too old to trick-or-treat anymore, Soubi." Ritsuka glared at the omelette Soubi placed in front of him.

"But Yayoi-san's younger brother is not." Soubi gave a small half-smile as he wrapped his fingers around Ritsuka's chin to angle him into a soft kiss.

Breaking away, Ritsuka breathed "Yayoi never said he had a brother..."

"Maybe it was his cousin then. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I've decided we're ALL going to dress up in a medieval theme. The ZEROES included." Soubi emphasized the last part, making sure Natsuo and Youji could hear him in the other room. He gave a satisfied grin when he heard the confirming "WHAAAT?!!" "Youji will go as Yin, Natsuo as Yang," Ritsuka giggled at the thought of the Zeroes dressed in such a manner. He envisioned them as jesters.

"Go on." Ritsuka gave him an approving smile.

"The little kid, Kai-chan, will be a peasant,"

"Sounds like that would fit Kio better..." Youji snickered.

"No, Youji, he's the stable boy!" Natsuo chided.

"And?" Ritsuka looked to Soubi.

"I will be a knight, and you--"

"I don't want to wear a costume, Soubi." Ritsuka said in a deadpanned voice.

"Please, Ritsuka?" Soubi's crystal eyes bored into Ritsuka's, pleading with his soul. "Just hear me out."

"Alright...what is it?" Ritsuka relented.

"Hm," Soubi sighed happily. "Well, I was thinking I'd be a knight in shining armor, and you'd be my damsel in distre--"

"No." Ritsuka began glaring at his omelette and pancakes again.

"Please?" Soubi said, using his best impersonation of Kio using a puppy dog look.

"No...how about this."

Soubi looked up at his master expectantly.

"Youji and Natsou's costumes remain the same." He smiled when he heard the zeroes griping from the other room. "Yuiko will be a princess," he added, blushing at the thought of Yuiko dressing up in such a style. "_I'll_ be a knight, Kai-san will be what you said,"

"And me?" Soubi glanced at his owner hesitantly.

"A lady-in-waiting to Yuiko." Soubi and Ritsuka were now _both_ blushing, and the Zeroes' explosion of laughter could be heard all the way to Gora.

---------------------

"So why isn't Yayoi the one taking Kai-san?" Ritsuka asked as he put on the fabric knight suit Soubi had been planning to wear. It didn't fit him well, of course, so Kio had come over to help tailor it for him.

"Yayoi-kun is sick of course." Soubi and Kio both replied non-chalantly.

"Huh? How did _you_ know, Kio?" Ritsuka asked, looking down at the man on his knees in front of him. (Adjusting the bottom of Ritsuka's costume, you perverts!)

"It's obvious." Kio said around his lollipop and several pins.

"Even for _you_? Wow..." the Zeroes popped in out of nowhere to ask.

"_Yes_, even for _me_." Kio mumbled as he glared at the ever-so-pleasant and rather sadistic pair.

"Well, I still don't see why we're all going." Ritsuka huffed, sticking one of his arms out so that Kio could adjust the sleeves.

"I thought that it would be fun for all of us." Soubi smiled, going to the sink to scour some pans.

"No, you just wanted an excuse to dress Rit-chan like a girl." Kio removed a pin from his mouth, and pinned it in the sleeve, accidently stabbing Ritsuka in the process. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Ritsuka brought the end of his finger to his mouth, sucking at the blood.

"Regardless of the reasons, we're still doing it, alright?" Soubi glanced in their direction, glaring at the Zeroes as they tried to steal some needles from Kio's sewing kit. Caught, they crawled back to their cave of a room. "That reminds me. Kio, I left a costume for you on my bed." Kio didn't even bother to look up as he declined. "Hey, if I'm dressing up, so're you. Besides, it's very...fitting."

Kio paused, envisioning a leather ensemble with various portions provacatively cut away in a very Gackt (1) style. He blushed, looking over at his best friend. "...I'll try it."

------------------------------

"H-h-hi. I-I'm, um, Kai." Everyone stared at the three and a half foot, highlighter orange and pink haired, adorable cat-eared fifteen year old. Just stared.

"Um, aren't you a bit, I don't know, _old_ to be trick-or-treating?" Kio asked, breaking everyone out of their dumbfounded stupor.

"Well, do I **look** too old?!" Like the crack of a whip, Kai's expression did a 180, suddenly becoming a bastard. He grabbed Kio by the collar, making him scrunch down to look him in the eye. He grabbed Kio's lollipop and threw out the window. When he released the poor man, his now empty mouth just open and closed, in shock at the loss of his chupa.

"Uuuh, Kai-chan..."

"Kun."

Ritsuka corrected himself, careful not to push his buttons for the sake of Yayoi. "Kai-kun. Uhm, perhaps it would be better for everyone -including yourself- if we just skipped the trick-or-treating?"

A 540. "B-b-but, I waaanted to gooo!!" Ritsuka took a lollipop from Kio's secret stash behind the computer and handed it to the younger boy to quell his tears. "Alright, we'll trick-or-treat, but we don't want to wear costumes." He reasoned, ignoring Kio and Soubi's mutters saying otherwise.

720.

"NO! You're **all** wearing the damn costumes, whether you **like it**, or **_NOT!_**"

"Not." Came the simultaneous reply of the Zeroes.

Calling on one of his many 'Last Resort' moves, Kai sucked in the second biggest breath (beaten only by the time he won the Dubble Bubble Super Bubble Blowing Contest Challenge) he prepared himself to let out the biggest, whiniest, loudest, longest, highest, and by far most annoying scream ever, when----Riiip. Smack! "Mweirafk!! Shovovuhbifsho!" Soubi counter-attacked with a roll of duct tape being wrapped securely around Kai's face.

"Fine. But you're going as a duct tape monster."

-----------------------------

Mrs. Takarai had always loved Halloween. She adored the tradition of cute little innocently-eared children dressing up as their favorite comic-book heroes, like 'Superman' or 'Wonderwoman.' Nice, wholesome comics that taught the values of Love, and Friendship, and Justice. And of course, FAIRNESS. Set in times where people were people, and none of this cross-dressing or whore-like dressing nonsense you see nowadays. She stood from her chair by the front door as the door bell rang, and grabbed the candy bowl from the buffet to her left. Opening the door, she smiled down at a cat-eared high schooler in a lovely yellow sweater, purple pigtails, and a maroon skirt that went to her ankles. "And what are you supposed to be?" She asked sweetly.

The child smiled up at her sweetly, and, taking a handful of candy from the bowl that clearly stated 'Just take one, please!' She shouted in her face "A VIRGIN!!" and ran away.

Incredibly shaken by the experience, she closed the door and fought back tears. What was this world coming? It was then that she vowed to do everything in her power to correct this world, given the chance. As she walked to her old-fashioned kitchen, there came a soft knock at the door.

------------

"This is the last house, alright?" Soubi argued with Kai all the way up the drive.

"B-B-B-BUT, BUT M-M-M-MY BAG I-ISN'T _F-F-FULL** YE-ET!!"**_ Kai cried, tears rolling down his dirt-stained peasant cheeks. The Zeroes micked his actions, but pawing lasciviously at Kio, who was dressed as a giant pink Chupa. (Soubi gave him the costume as a joke to see if he'd wear it. He missed the medieval memo.) As the Zeroes pretended to pole dance against him, Ritsuka and Yuiko marched up the steps ahead of everyone. A short kid with purple pigtails that they recognized as a freshman from their school flew past them, nearly knocking Yuiko on her bum. If it weren't for the strong arms supporting her.

Soubi's head snapped up, sensing danger in the area. _'Someone's too close to my Ritsuka.'_ Alarmed, he lifted his dress and sprinted over to where he sensed his love. Arriving on the scene, he gasped at what he saw. As if they had just been doing an incredibly passionate and sensual tango, Ritsuka, his knight in shining armor, was dipping Yuiko!

"Ritsu-kaaaaaa!!" With a battle cry that pierced the heavens, Soubi flew across the yard, a blur of pink. In a flash, Ritsuka was in Soubi's arms, Yuiko nowhere to be seen, and they were at the door.

"Argh! _**Soubiiii!!**"_

-----------------

"Trick or Treat!"

"Well hello, ther--..." Mrs. Takarai stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her. From the left, there were: A) an earless knight B) A cross-dressing blonde in a lady-in-waiting dress carrying him, C) A giant, highly provacative lollipop, D) Yin & Yang themed jester boys...wearing dresses. E) a little kid, right in the middle of fiendishly costumed freaks. Fearing for the boy's innocence, she developed a plan. Seemingly ignoring the rest, she turned her attention to the little boy. Leaning forward, putting her hands on her knees, she addressed the boy. "Oh, and what are you suppo--" Kai was left in a daze as the little old lady who he was about to demand candy from snatched him up and jumped backwards in her house, slamming the door and locking it right in the freaks' faces.

Everyone paused, confused.

"Um...did the brat just get kidnapped?"

"I think so."

"Oh, shit."

8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8D8

"**_PUT ME DOWN!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!!"_** Kai kicked and screamed and banged and spat as the little old lady ran down the hall and into the kitchen, never letting him go.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let a _child_ like yourself stay with a bunch of crazed, perverted, misfits like **that.** Don't you worry, I'll have you home in no time."

"I'm fifteen bloody years old!! Put me **DOWN!!"** Kai was near in tears, and Mrs. Takarai's heart nearly broke in two.

"There, there...It's alright..." She set him down, intending to pat his head. Spotting his chance, like a wild mustang, he reared back and kicked the little old lady in the chest. She stumbled backward, landing on her bum. He jumped up and ran.

Now, for a little old lady of about sixty-five, she was in pretty damn good shape. Kai, however, had no way of knowing what was in store....

-

* * *

_(1)_ Notorious man-hooker of the j-rock world...and I say that in the most endearing and respectful way possible. _Wanna argue? Go to youtube and type in 'Gackt Vanilla Live.' You'll see._

End part one!

And what were _you _for Halloween? I was Victoria from Hellsing...made it in less than 24 hours for a party... XDDD

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!


End file.
